................................................I was once known as Aquarians Love To Fuck (ALT-F). I am now Vagina Dentata (VD)................................................


Where The Fuck Is Ireland?

The Customer:  "I'm here to pick up a Table Arrangement for "X"."

Me:  "Give me a second.  I'll find your order form.

The Customer:  "It could be under "Y" or perhaps "Z"."

Me:  "I can't find any of those names.  Were you the person who ordered it?

Or are you just picking it up?"

The Customer:  "Picking it up.  My grand-mother from British Columbia ordered it a few days ago."

Me:  "Are you sure she ordered it from us?  There are two other Florists in town, could she have ordered it from one of them?"

The Customer:  "I don't think so.  We always use your shop.  I got my wedding flowers here, last year."

Me:  "Can you call your grand-mother and find out if she ordered it here?  We have no record of it and it is unlikely we would have lost it.  We're pretty good at not doing that sort of thing."

The Customer calls her mother - not her grand-mother.

The Customer:  "You were right.  My grand-mother ordered it from "So-and-So Florists"."

Me:  "Well I feel better.  I would hate to think we could lose an order like that."

The Tutor remembers her and her wedding flowers.
She was one of a pair of recent high school grads, on their way to university, who suggested The Tutor should 'go on Jeopardy' because he knew that Ireland was an island - this was unknown to them.  And her wedding colours/flowers were just as stupid.  Humans depress me, a lot.


I just completed a very 'quick and dirty' poll with 27 customers over the last two hours.  All adults with at least high school matriculation.

The first question:  "Did you know that Ireland is an island?"

19 said "No".
8 said "Yes".

The second question:  "Can you point to Ireland on this map?"

18  refused or incorrectly located Ireland.  One chose an area in India.
5  were very close - circling the UK and Nordic countries.
4  correctly identified Ireland's location.

The third question:  "Did you know there are actually two Irelands?"

25 said "No".
2 said "Yes" and named them.