Don't hate me because I am a cute Asian, hate me because I am a cunt. And what are you looking at anyway? I would like you to fuck off. I don't want people here. People who read blogs are cunts, or at best, arseholes. This is somewhere for me to record things, things I care about. Things like trephination and FGM and who feels the orgasm when the Hensel girl(s) masturbate. Also, Rolihlahla Mandela and Aung San Suu Kyi are cunts. I don't like Mother Teresa much either.
................................................I was once known as Aquarians Love To Fuck (ALT-F). I am now Vagina Dentata (VD)................................................
Now this, my friends, is a fucking photograph. A PHOTOGRAPH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If it were not for the fact that this poor Ruskie died in 1999, I would have babuschka'd this comrade's ass six ways to Tuesday in Stalingrad (and his little cat too) just because this photo is so hot!!!
This monstrosity is but a pale contrivance. And the man with the Koala is German!!!!!!!!!!
Yuriy Valentinovich Knorozov - Born 1922
Sven Gronemeyer - Born 1978
Both brilliant Mayanists. Though truth be told, the former is a tad more brilliant than the latter. Innit?
The other day I was
walking down the High Street on my way to the Blacksmith's:
The Nice Man: "Excuse me Mam, would you like a free
Me: "Thank you. Very kind of you, but alas, I have no
personality. I'm boring as fuck."
TNM: "There's no need to be rude."
Me: "You're right there is no need, but it wasn't a question
of need, it was more a question of want."
Me: "Never mind. This is Scientology, right? And
you are a salesman....... ermmmmm.......not-at-all-brainwashed proselytising
Pointing to the
Scientology sign above the store front adjacent to where the two of us stood on
the side walk.
Me: "L. Ron Hubbard. Right?"
TNM: "Yes. You've heard of him? He is our Founder
and Spiritual Guide."
Me: "Heard of him? Are you mad? That L. Ron guy
changed my life!"
TNM: "That's wonderful." His eyes lit up.
"How so? Have you read any of Mr. Hubbard's works? Did you
visit our Website? Facebook Page?"
Me: "Stalk Tom Cruise's Twitter Feed? No, but I have
been meaning to do all of that for some time now. It's just I can't seem
to find the proper-strength Over-The-Counter anti-emetic that I'll be sure to
need. Know what I mean?"
Me: "Never mind. About 5 years ago I listened to an old
radio interview with Mr. Hubbard. I happened upon it while
researching Excremental Philosophies on the Internet for a
seminar at which I was required to present a paper. The man was well
spoken and very insightful. From this terrific, spell-binding interview,
one particular declarative was epiphanous and hit me like a wooden-crate
containing 200 kilos worth of unsold Dianetics paperbacks."
TNM: "We don't sell Dianetics. We give it
away for free. What was it he said that changed your life?"
Me: "Well, and I quote from memory, 'If you want to get rich,
start a Religion.' I took his advice. A wise man indeed."
Me: "Would you like to come over to my place when you get off
work for a free Personality Test and colonic irrigation with 18 molar H2SO4?
I have cookies! Oh, and bring all your cash, and that of your
relatives - and any loose change."
TNM: "Irri-what? What kind of cookies?"
Me: "Oatmeal Raisin, but never mind. You seem like a
nice man, I would like to apologize for my rude words earlier, I've really no
legitimate excuse. I'd've(1) apologized earlier, but I'm cranky today.
You see, while watching television last night, I was browsing through the
channels and came upon the FSM channel(2) - which was in the
middle of streaming Battlefield Earth in HD. I inadvertently
tossed 'arf a brick at the screen and as a consequence that cluster of Body
Thetans surrounding me got a tad perturbed. It's like the Harrying of the
North on my torso today - I'm so itchy. I really loved that television
too. So I'm a little upset."
Me: "Never mi.... ahhh... forget it. I must dash now.
I've an initiation ritual for the latest batch of The
Congregation For The Fiscal Preservation Of The Divine VD neophytes at
the weekend and I still haven't purchased the new branding irons yet.
(1) I'd've I just love that double contraction.
I've no idea about its legitimacy, vis à vis The Queen's English, but I
don't care, I love it. And I just fucking adore adverbs, superlatives and
the subjunctive case AND showing my readers, the cream of cunts that they are,
how clever I am.
(2) Fucking-Shite-Movie channel. The hyphens
indicate that the compound adjective fucking shit is modifying
the noun movie, not the noun channel.
The Channel is only
fulfilling its mandate. I can't fault it.
It has been brought to my attention - by The Tutor, of course - that this
missive is only remotely funny, and to discern what little levity there is,
requires in the reader a certain level of knowledge concerning the dogma of The
Church of Scientology. Fair enough, he's right, but I pixellate with the
express understanding that my readership possesses this level of knowledge and
cognition. If a reader does not and is upset that I do not provide
hyper-links for words and phrases I would suspect would require them if I was
communicating with readers of that calibre - like as if I would deign to
pixellate word-salads for people with that level of cognition and knowledge in
the first place - they can fuck off.
Is there anthropogenic global warming? I don't know and I don't fucking care.(1) What I do know is that the combustion of ever-increasing quantities of Fossil Fuels - oil, gas and coal - generates tonnes of killer air pollution. The kind of air pollution that causes much respiratory distress among those who out of insipid ignorance insist on engaging in respiratory gas-exchange leading to the oxidative phosphorylation necessary to generate their precious ATP - the fucking bourgeois organic-chemistry-lovin'-cunts. As a wily psychopath, I am quite pleased with this air pollution thing. Is it an encumbrance? No it is not! It is a weapon! It is not unreasonable for me to believe that my singular use of fossil fuels over the years I've been resident in The Canadas, the use for much of which was for no good reason, has contributed directly to the premature deaths of several people; and I imagine them all to be white people too. I'm a murderer! Mea fucking culpa! Of course, many would argue it is only involuntary manslaughter, not murder. Fair enough, but I would remind these Libruls I have malice of intent, mens rea, there are no mitigating factors and there was a fuck of a lot of pre-planning involved; It's depraved-heart murder, and no mistake. I am no different than that Dzhokhar character from the Boston Marathon bombing - my method just takes a lot longer to wreak its intended havoc.
Well, I'm such a killer I got lyric fillers
And I'm hated everywhere I go...(Sounds like me)
I waste a lot of oil and I waste a lot of gas
At ten thousand gallons a go...(Right)
I do all kinds of spills that give me all kind of thrills
But the thrill I've never known
Is the thrill that'll gitcha when you get your pitcha
On the cover of the Rollin' Stone.
(1) Though truth be told, which it often isn't, I hope there is Global Warming and I hope that it speeds the fuck up! It is -23 Celsius, that's -9 fucking Yankee degrees by the way, as I pixellate this and I am just fucking tired of the cold. Apologies to Shel Silverstein and Dr. Hook et al. for doing that to your magnum opus.
The Learned One: "We are not all the same. Can science and medicine one day grasp this simple concept? It seems unlikely” Me: " Science agrees with you, but, politically, it does not bode well for social harmony if it becomes socially acceptable to differentiate ‘types’ of humans. It’s a slippery slope to the Übermensch and the elimination of those who do not measure up. We all have to pretend we are all equal." The Learned One: "Equal is not the same as identical." Me: "I agree. Equal is not the same as identical– and this fact is not lost on the “U” ( as opposed to “non-U”) segment of society. The Papists, of course, would say, "Equal in dignity, not necessarily equal in god’s endowments." We are all different on the outside but, I have it on good authority we are all very much the same on the inside. This has been amply demonstrated by The Tutor for he has spent years ‘examining’ the insides of all manner of Caucasoids, Mongoloids and Negroids with his penis."
If you can't listen to all of it, listen at 3:30 to 5:00, Innit?
On 4 December 2009, Theron co-presented the draw for the 2010 FIFA World cup in Cape Town, South Africa. During rehearsals she drew an Ireland ball instead of France as a joke at the expense of FIFA, referring to ThierryHenry's handball controversy in the play-off matchbetween France and Ireland.The stunt alarmed FIFA enough for it to fear she might do it again in front of a live global audience. The cunts should have listened. The girl is incorrigible. Innit? Gen End It you fuckers!
I was a teenager and this was my song. If it were not for the fact I am Asian, I would have looked just like this at the time. The Tutor? Well let's just say he was NOT a teenager - though he was in love.
I can still dance like this, but admittedly, it is getting more hazardous to do so as I travel to the grave. What annoys me is The Tutor can still manage the "Blue Jumpsuit" part of the performance - and he's positively ancient! He even has his puka shell necklace that he says drove the chicks wild back in the day. Meh! Desirable Irresistible Super sexy Such a cutie Oh, oh indeed
You can use the big words with me, they don't frighten me. Except maybe big,
foreign words, I think. You know, filthy lexical migrants coming over here, filling up our sentences
and keeping our good, honest indigenous words under-employed..... bastards!
I'm totally nicking that one. Scathingly(1) near-homophonic to pederasts!
As for your use of the Greek Cassandra myth, I think it rather malapropos.
Firstly, she was not weak nor foolish. Misunderstood, even insane maybe, but
not weak or foolish. Secondly, Cassandra's prognostications came true - her
curse was that she would never be believed. Do you mean that the dire
predictions of The Right Honourable David Cameron MP will come true and that
those who deny these predictions and support the "Leave" campaign are
synonymous with the folks who disbelieved Cassandra - and will be proved wrong?
Perhaps you mean that the predictions of The Right Honourable David Cameron of
joyous and generalized beneficence of remaining in the EU will come true and
his curse is the "Leave" campaign won't believe it?
".......dribbling piss down his expensively tailored leg....."
That is potentially rather callous of you. What if one, or more, of your
readers had/has a relative(2) who was incontinent? There are many causes for
this, not the least of which could be Traumatic Gynecologic Fistula caused by a
violent gang-rape by a brace or two of Pakistani men behind a chipper in
Wouldn't you feel bad?
I inadvertently upset one of your dear readers a few days ago when I made light
of TB. It behooves us to be careful about what we say. We don't want to upset
(1) Got that word from watching an old 1960s movie with Hayley Mills -The Trouble With Angelsor some such.
(2) Perhaps the older sister of a reader's grand-mother about 100 years ago?
"......It will have it's(sic) Rumplestiltskin(sic) moment and disappear to
annoy less worthy commenters......."
I know you are not reading this ordure, but I knew you had it in you!
You are a clever
The Rumpelstiltskin allegory is very apropos for yours truly!
I spin the pedestrian straw of much of the content I find here in this Handy
Comments Facility into Verbal aureus! Granted, for many ‘round ‘ere this
"Aureus" is of the Staphylococcal persuasion. Nyuck!
28 February 2016 at 14:56
This thing has got victimhood written all over it. In the mother
language we call itæþryt.
"........Before 1600, little divided us in terms of advancement from the
arabs, the asiatics and the chinese,....."
This is simply not true.
In the 13th century, Islam, India and China were developing mathematics with
place-value notation, determining the Precession of the Equinoxes and writing exquisite poetry and treatises on optics and algebra while the Europeans were still swinging in the trees -
I agree that after the European Enlightenment of the 16th and 17th centuries,
the Judeo-christian West left the rest of the world behind, but prior to 1600,
the European Caucasoid was an ignorant buffoon. The Catholic Church kept The
West under its jackboot of ignorance for 1,000 years. The Reconquista in
Iberia, the Silk Road and interaction with the Ottomans re-introduced to Europe
the learning from Ancient Greece, Rome and Asia. This kick-started and fueled
the Renaissance. Oh, and maybe some Irish monks helped too.
Raedwald, your libertarian tolerance is admirable but the
"Sterculian" twit is making too much noise - like listening to the
World Service on shortwave way back when, too much distraction. He/she/it is
clearly very young, very pretentious, very prolix, and only does it to annoy.
In lieu of arranging for its bottom to be smacked until it bleeds, please get
rid of it. I would hate my longstanding enjoyment of your posts, and the
commenters (most of them) to drive me away if this vermin is not controlled
(i.e. extinguished) summarily. I suspect I wouldn't be the only one to
28 February 2016 at 21:54
Well said Malcolm, I second that - his/her effluent has pissed
me off too.
Dearest Malcolm Stevas @ 28 February 2016 at 21:54,
Are you part of ISIS / ISIL / IS by chance?
You certainly have their mindset when it comes to inclusion and acceptance.
Please to enlighten me as to the 'noise' I am being accused of exuding today?
I respond to other commenters ONLY when attacked by them.
I do not 'start' a conversation with anyone except Rædwald.
Today I questioned the appropriateness of Mr. Rædwald's use of the Cassandra
myth and his grasp of the level of Intellectual development in Medi-evil
Europe. These queries were certainly en pointe vis-à-vis his missive above, and
I argue, quite acceptable and legitimate comments.
In your eyes, what would I have to do to be an acceptable commenter(1). Must I
become a lobotomized toadying sycophant with a cute diminutive which I use to
address Mr. Rædwald in order to blend? "Raedmiester" or
Do you often threaten Blog Administrators with departure when you don't get
your way? What was that you said about being young? Those threats of yours are
like a toddler: "I want, what I want, when I want it!"
Also, I reckon you have a rather inflated sense of your importance 'round here
if you think your threat might change behaviours. No one is important 'round
here - except Rædwald. If I was Rædwald, I would not in the least appreciate
I am as Queen Lear, a girl more sinned against than sinning.
Dying of consumption is so romantic!
Every decent Bodice-ripper from Harlequin Romances has at least one
heroine/hero succumbing to the heartbreak of tubercular shadows!
Michael Caine had TB in Alfie even! It don't get any more romantic than that,
In perusing your list I couldn't help but notice that listed after Bulgaria but
before Tunisia is some country namedColumbia.
Where on the planet is the sovereign state of Columbia?.
Now I know whereColombiais, with its capital Bogota - City of
Perpetual Spring, but Columbia? I'm flummoxed.
And MDR-TB is still easily treatable. Don't worry your paranoid little British
arses about it. It's when you start recording cases of XDR-TB you have to
worry. Take it from yours truly, a kitten-cute gamine and vamping courtesan,
now riddled with an alphabets worth of Hep infections from years of
selflessly(1) dispensing primary care medicine in the world's best shitholes.
(1) Not true. The Tutor and I have been handsomely remunerated over the years
for our altruistic-on-the-surface behaviour. It's a lucrative vocation, if a
As you can see, The WHO spell Colombia the correct way. Therefore, the error in
your League table has its source amidst the generalized ignorance of some
no-doubt Caucasoid denizen of the vile Anglosphere.
(1) NOT Live at Leeds
26 February 2016 at 13:01
"Sterculia" - a dietary fibre used in food
Or, in other words, it produces a lot of shit - sounds about right.
26 February 2016 at 14:38
No doubt like Emily Thornberry's cringingly patronising remarks
about a white van man, Corbynasties will be tempted to make light of this
serious increase in TB in London.
26 February 2016 at 14:39
Stinky old pet.
You seem to have veered off the point.
The post in discussion is about the prevalence of TB in London compared to
other countries. Most would consider an increase of 50% since 1999 to be
worrisome in one of the worlds foremost capital cities.
"...Britain is now the only nation in Western Europe with rising levels of
tuberculosis, with more than 9,000 cases diagnosed annually. In London, where
40% of UK cases are reportedly diagnosed, the number of cases has risen by
almost 50% since 1999, up from 2,309 in 1999 to 3,450 in 2009."
You seem to have wandered off into reminiscences about your earlier days and
started wittering about the incorrect spellings of minor South American
countries. I'm sure that your knowledge of capital cities is of great comfort
to you and your mammoth ego but for the rest of us you come across as a pompous
and charmless windbag.
Raedwald, I agree with you on a great many things and do not
(yet at least) dispute your point that increasing TB in London should be viewed
However, I must call you out on, I think, two points.
Statistical equivalence. You are comparing, small areas (presumably
election constituencies, local authority boundaries or similar) with whole
countries. There will obviously be more statistical variation with these small
areas than there will be with the larger areas. Thus, the numerical extent of
difference shown in your table of comparison is not likely to be all arising
from and in support of explanation you favour.
Cherrypicking. For your comparison countries, you have chosen
those outside the First World that are particularly low, comparatively, on
incidence of TB. Take a look atthis map from Wikipedia. You have avoided countries with
really high incidence of TB (more yellow), such as all of sub-Saharan Africa,
the Indian subcontinent and China.
26 February 2016 at 15:55
Sterculian Rhetoric said @ 12:35
Dying of consumption is so romantic!'
No it ain't, and you're not funny either. My grandmother's older sister had
consumption in 1907, and she died horribly, age 9.
In 2014, more than 6,500 cases of TB were reported in England. Of these,
around 4,700 affected people who were born outside the UK-NHS UK
Dearest plantman @ 26 February 2016 at 14:38,
Good for you!
Have yourself a lollie - you've earned it!
But, you're only half right.
Sterculius was/is the Roman God of fertilizer. Fertilizer in those days was
Rhetoric is/are, 'words'
Sterculian Rhetoric = bull manure words. Or in the vernacular cacophemism:
Clever Innit? I done thunk it up myself.
Dearest Budgie @ 26 February 2016 at 14:39,
I am afraid I am forced to dismiss you - you are speaking in tongues. And I am
in no way bright enough to transliterate and then translate your gibberish into
a form useful to me. Perhaps if I had more experience with your culture? I don't
".....your mammoth ego but for the rest of us you come across as a pompous
and charmless windbag....."
Don't forget gormless, and would it kill you to modify each of those
descriptive adjectives, 'mammoth' 'pompous' and 'charmless' with my preferred
additional adjectival modifier: f**king? The resultant alliterative volley when
spoken is pleasing to the ear. Poetic even.
When we met a few days ago, I held out such promise for you and our future
intercourse, but alas I fear you have proven to be a dullard. Please, please
prove me wrong!
Dearest Anonymous @ 26 February 2016 at 16:01,
Dear oh dear
Dear oh dear oh dear.
It just goes to show the utter folly of teaching the cognitively impaired how
to read and write.
You must have been, and continue to be, a terrible burden on your loved ones.
Have you ever seen a person die of consumption?
I thought not.
Well little man, little humourless dullard, I have! Too many to count! I've had
babies die in my arms of simple ailments that would have be fixed in a flash
with a quick trip to your local A & E on the High Street in Blighty. Don't
you be lecturing me on what's funny and what's not.
I get the point of this post, the increase in TB cases is primarily caused by
the filthy and swarthy immigrants y'all are forced to accept into your
otherwise disease-free Sceptred Isle - on account of the Great Satan - EU.
I'll do my best, Thud.
Thank you for your largess and patience.
Possessing the twin misfortunes of being Asian and female is often an
insurmountable hindrance. LikeBlanche DuBois,
I have always depended on the kindness of strangers. It is quite simply horrid
being part of The White Man's Burden you know.
26 February 2016 at 18:33
Oh dear, another site infected with the "SR" troll,
aka the PNG troll. "She" is actually a teenage boy, amused by his own
wit. Grow up laddy!
You wish Ed P(1)!
In your wildest wet dreams!
I'm actually a pre-teen peri-pubescent boy named Tadzio.
But you knew that. Innit?
I'll be legal in a few more years Ed. Will you wait?
You're such a rascal.
But seriously Ed, your obsession with the filmDeath In Veniceis
sure to lead to your eventual undoing - you know, like that guitarist from The
1) Ed P? "P" for Paedophile?
2) This time, live at Leeds
26 February 2016 at 20:31
Sterculian Rhetoric said @ 17:03
Dear oh dear oh dear.
It just goes to show the utter folly of teaching the cognitively impaired how
to read and write.
Nasty piece of work, with language like that you'd be a good fit with
supporters of euthanasia - Fabians, Nazis, etc.
Dearest Anonymous @ 26 February 2016 at 20:53
By my phrase 'the cognitively impaired' I meant you, and you alone. I was
making light of your apparent complete misreading of my satirical/sarcastic 'consumption'
lampoon. I was lamenting what a waste it was teaching a humourless dolt like
yourself how to read and write. Your apparent lack of reading comprehension is
so severe that even the most obvious and hyperbolic of my 'funnies' escaped
As for the Nazis, they're far too 'accepting of diversity' for my tastes. I
would have had those Übermensch against the wall first! I've no knowledge of
No comment on the rest of my word salad from 26 February 2016 at 17:03?
I thought not.
26 February 2016 at 21:5
I'd say woman under thirty. A preposterous self confidence only
alumni of North East Ivy leaguer's or alien Oxbridge provenance - would possess
maybe but of Caribbean extraction (and maybe lived over here a tad) She has
never been near a working ward or a grindstone come to that but probably knows
someone close who did.
Narcissistic, endless propensity for self love, self promotion - probably an
only child and always with the Socialistas conscience, so twee but knows not of
hard graft, sooo daddy's money will sort all those blues out.
Nothing better to do, idle hands and with a big gob, wind up and is her secret
Lord T'underin' Jaysus B'y, but are you off the mark.
I am Asian and born 1979 in the country formerly known as Burma while me Mam
was peddling her ass "on the road to Mandalay" and me Pa was being
anal raped by Aung San Suu Kyi and her kin. So as a S.L.O.R.C. enthusiast by
default ("cause we hate Suu Kyi and her half-breed crotch fruit), it is
unlikely I would have Socialist sympathies. I gots me no book learnin' but I
wrangled me 8 letters after my name and 2 before it by fellating the right
people in the frozen wastelands of Soviet Canuckistan(That's Canada for you
retards) after I emigrated from Myanmar via Paris,France and Bogota, Colombia settling in Toronto, Canada.
No family money, but I did make a few bob peddling my ass and coca in Bogota
for a few years. I still to this day curse my youth for being too young to have
appreciated my meetings with Pablo Escobar.
You were wrong on all counts except the narcissist bit. And you sir, are my
Oh and the self-love bit too, I've oft' been accused of engaging in acts
preparatory to Onanism. You know, polishing the pearl, slapping the little man
in the canoe? The Queen's is such a wonderfully idiomatic language for
describing those sorts of activities - ain't it great?
You completely forgot arrogant too!
I am woefully arrogant - and for very good reason if I might add. You sir,
conversely are a modest man, also for good reason.
27 February 2016 at 01:10
Linking images - of someone who could or could not be something
of anyone. Divination of the truth, is ever the task.
Whereas, weaving words colour textured thick with pretentious, sardonic
imagery. Words wrapped in with egotism and exhibitionism are by their very
nature fantasists, and ship gladly with pedlars of deception.
Whatever you do, whosoever you are, what the fuck are you doing on here?
Surely you deserve a more appreciative audience?
Surely are a big heads, a mini monster doubtless and indeed big heads need
devotees, you won't get that - hereabouts. All you'll receive in this place are
disbelief and ladles full of derision.
Or, in plain verse, start talking sense and be welcomed Madame.
For, if all you say is true (above, ) then quite evidently it sits up on the
page that, you have a tale to tell.
Maybe, you are a person of vast experience gained through a life of arduous and
quite appalling adversity and I perceive have, underneath the facade - a rather
a sharp and good brain betwixt your ears.
Thus, speak but cast aside the drollery and speak notin tongues.