................................................I was once known as Aquarians Love To Fuck (ALT-F). I am now Vagina Dentata (VD)................................................


Thursday

More Fun With Retarded Brits



".......pusillanimity......." ?

You can use the big words with me, they don't frighten me. Except maybe big, foreign words, I think. You know, filthy lexical migrants coming over here, filling up our sentences and keeping our good, honest indigenous words under-employed.....
bastards!

".......Federasts...."?

I'm totally nicking that one. Scathingly(1) near-homophonic to pederasts!
 

As for your use of the Greek Cassandra myth, I think it rather malapropos. Firstly, she was not weak nor foolish. Misunderstood, even insane maybe, but not weak or foolish. Secondly, Cassandra's prognostications came true - her curse was that she would never be believed. Do you mean that the dire predictions of The Right Honourable David Cameron MP will come true and that those who deny these predictions and support the "Leave" campaign are synonymous with the folks who disbelieved Cassandra - and will be proved wrong?
Or..........
Perhaps you mean that the predictions of The Right Honourable David Cameron of joyous and generalized beneficence of remaining in the EU will come true and his curse is the "Leave" campaign won't believe it?

".......dribbling piss down his expensively tailored leg....."

That is potentially rather callous of you. What if one, or more, of your readers had/has a relative(2) who was incontinent? There are many causes for this, not the least of which could be Traumatic Gynecologic Fistula caused by a violent gang-rape by a brace or two of Pakistani men behind a chipper in Newham?
Wouldn't you feel bad?
I inadvertently upset one of your dear readers a few days ago when I made light of TB. It behooves us to be careful about what we say. We don't want to upset anybody. Innit?


(1) Got that word from watching an old 1960s movie with Hayley Mills -
 The Trouble With Angels or some such.

(2) Perhaps the older sister of a reader's grand-mother about 100 years ago?
28 February 2016 at 14:41
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Dearest mikebravo @ 28 February 2016 at 12:47

"......It will have it's(sic) Rumplestiltskin(sic) moment and disappear to annoy less worthy commenters......."

FANTASTIC!!!!
I know you are not reading this ordure, but I knew you had it in you!
You are a clever boy!
The Rumpelstiltskin allegory is very apropos for yours truly!
I spin the pedestrian straw of much of the content I find here in this Handy Comments Facility into Verbal aureus! Granted, for many ‘round ‘ere this "Aureus" is of the Staphylococcal persuasion. Nyuck!
28 February 2016 at 14:56
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Anonymous Anonymous said...
This thing has got victimhood written all over it. In the mother language we call it æþryt.

Good piece by the way, Raedwald.
 

Steve
28 February 2016 at 15:14
Anonymous 

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Æþryt !!!!!

I know and love that word!


Æþryt Queynte
28 February 2016 at 15:27
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*     Sterculian Rhetoric said...
*     Mr. Rædwald

"........Before 1600, little divided us in terms of advancement from the arabs, the asiatics and the chinese,....."


This is simply not true.

In the 13th century, Islam, India and China were developing mathematics with place-value notation, determining the Precession of the Equinoxes and writing 
exquisite poetry and treatises on optics and algebra while the Europeans were still swinging in the trees - metaphorically.

I agree that after the European Enlightenment of the 16th and 17th centuries, the Judeo-christian West left the rest of the world behind, but prior to 1600, the European Caucasoid was an ignorant buffoon. The Catholic Church kept The West under its jackboot of ignorance for 1,000 years. The Reconquista in Iberia, the Silk Road and interaction with the Ottomans re-introduced to Europe the learning from Ancient Greece, Rome and Asia. This kick-started and fueled the Renaissance. Oh, and maybe some Irish monks helped too.
28 February 2016 at 20:52
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Blogger Malcolm Stevas said...
Raedwald, your libertarian tolerance is admirable but the "Sterculian" twit is making too much noise - like listening to the World Service on shortwave way back when, too much distraction. He/she/it is clearly very young, very pretentious, very prolix, and only does it to annoy. In lieu of arranging for its bottom to be smacked until it bleeds, please get rid of it. I would hate my longstanding enjoyment of your posts, and the commenters (most of them) to drive me away if this vermin is not controlled (i.e. extinguished) summarily. I suspect I wouldn't be the only one to depart...
28 February 2016 at 21:54
Anonymous Ed P said...
Well said Malcolm, I second that - his/her effluent has pissed me off too.
28 February 2016 at 22:34
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Dearest Malcolm Stevas @ 28 February 2016 at 21:54,

Such vehemence
Such hatred.
Such intolerance.
Are you part of ISIS / ISIL / IS by chance?
You certainly have their mindset when it comes to inclusion and acceptance.

Please to enlighten me as to the 'noise' I am being accused of exuding today?
I respond to other commenters ONLY when attacked by them.
I do not 'start' a conversation with anyone except Rædwald.
Today I questioned the appropriateness of Mr. Rædwald's use of the Cassandra myth and his grasp of the level of Intellectual development in Medi-evil Europe. These queries were certainly en pointe vis-à-vis his missive above, and I argue, quite acceptable and legitimate comments.

In your eyes, what would I have to do to be an acceptable commenter(1). Must I become a lobotomized toadying sycophant with a cute diminutive which I use to address Mr. Rædwald in order to blend? "Raedmiester" or "Raedikins" perhaps?

Query?
Do you often threaten Blog Administrators with departure when you don't get your way? What was that you said about being young? Those threats of yours are like a toddler: "I want, what I want, when I want it!"
Also, I reckon you have a rather inflated sense of your importance 'round here if you think your threat might change behaviours. No one is important 'round here - except Rædwald. If I was Rædwald, I would not in the least appreciate being threatened.

I am as Queen Lear, a girl more sinned against than sinning.

(1) Yeah yeah. Leave. Right?
28 February 2016 at 23:05
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Mr. Rædwald?

I will abide your wishes.

Let me know of them here, in this your most excellent Handy Comments Facility.

I invite all my admirers to contact me here: biliousity@gmail.com.
Through that private medium, y'all can tell me what you
 really think of me: unencumbered by legal restraints and societal norms.
28 February 2016 at 23:17
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Anonymous 


O Mio Babbino Caro



Klassy as Fook!

At 59 seconds in..............



Wednesday

Fun With Retarded Brits


But.....
But..............
Dying of consumption is so romantic!
Every decent Bodice-ripper from Harlequin Romances has at least one heroine/hero succumbing to the heartbreak of tubercular shadows!
Michael Caine had TB in Alfie even! It don't get any more romantic than that, Innit?

Query?
In perusing your list I couldn't help but notice that listed after Bulgaria but before Tunisia is some country named
 Columbia. 
Where on the planet is the sovereign state of Columbia?.
Now I know where
 Colombia is, with its capital Bogota - City of Perpetual Spring, but Columbia? I'm flummoxed.

And MDR-TB is still easily treatable. Don't worry your paranoid little British arses about it. It's when you start recording cases of XDR-TB you have to worry. Take it from yours truly, a kitten-cute gamine and vamping courtesan, now riddled with an alphabets worth of Hep infections from years of selflessly(1) dispensing primary care medicine in the world's best shitholes.


(1) Not true. The Tutor and I have been handsomely remunerated over the years for our altruistic-on-the-surface behaviour. It's a lucrative vocation, if a tad dangerous.
26 February 2016 at 12:35
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(Sources: WHO 2015 stats & GLA) ????

The WHO(1) Data set:

http://www.who.int/tb/country/en/

As you can see, The WHO spell Colombia the correct way. Therefore, the error in your League table has its source amidst the generalized ignorance of some no-doubt Caucasoid denizen of the vile Anglosphere.
Innit?





(1) NOT Live at Leeds
26 February 2016 at 13:01
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Anonymous plantman said...
"Sterculia" - a dietary fibre used in food

Or, in other words, it produces a lot of shit - sounds about right.
26 February 2016 at 14:38

Anonymous Budgie said...
No doubt like Emily Thornberry's cringingly patronising remarks about a white van man, Corbynasties will be tempted to make light of this serious increase in TB in London.

26 February 2016 at 14:39

Anonymous mikebravo said...
Stinky old pet.

You seem to have veered off the point.

The post in discussion is about the prevalence of TB in London compared to other countries. Most would consider an increase of 50% since 1999 to be worrisome in one of the worlds foremost capital cities.

"...Britain is now the only nation in Western Europe with rising levels of tuberculosis, with more than 9,000 cases diagnosed annually. In London, where 40% of UK cases are reportedly diagnosed, the number of cases has risen by almost 50% since 1999, up from 2,309 in 1999 to 3,450 in 2009."

You seem to have wandered off into reminiscences about your earlier days and started wittering about the incorrect spellings of minor South American countries. I'm sure that your knowledge of capital cities is of great comfort to you and your mammoth ego but for the rest of us you come across as a pompous and charmless windbag.

no wot I meen?

pip pip!
26 February 2016 at 15:17

Anonymous Nigel Sedgwick said...
Raedwald, I agree with you on a great many things and do not (yet at least) dispute your point that increasing TB in London should be viewed with concern.

However, I must call you out on, I think, two points.

Statistical equivalence. You are comparing, small areas (presumably election constituencies, local authority boundaries or similar) with whole countries. There will obviously be more statistical variation with these small areas than there will be with the larger areas. Thus, the numerical extent of difference shown in your table of comparison is not likely to be all arising from and in support of explanation you favour.

Cherrypicking. For your comparison countries, you have chosen those outside the First World that are particularly low, comparatively, on incidence of TB. Take a look at this map from Wikipedia. You have avoided countries with really high incidence of TB (more yellow), such as all of sub-Saharan Africa, the Indian subcontinent and China.

Best regards
26 February 2016 at 15:55

Anonymous Anonymous said...
Sterculian Rhetoric said @ 12:35

'But.....
But..............
Dying of consumption is so romantic!'

No it ain't, and you're not funny either. My grandmother's older sister had consumption in 1907, and she died horribly, age 9.

In 2014, more than 6,500 cases of TB were reported in England. Of these, around 4,700 affected people who were born outside the UK
 - NHS UK

Steve
26 February 2016 at 16:01

Dearest plantman @ 26 February 2016 at 14:38,
Good for you!
Have yourself a lollie - you've earned it!
But, you're only half right.
Sterculius was/is the Roman God of fertilizer. Fertilizer in those days was cow/bull manure.
Rhetoric is/are, 'words'
Therefore:
Sterculian Rhetoric = bull manure words. Or in the vernacular cacophemism: "Bullshit"
Clever Innit? I done thunk it up myself.
26 February 2016 at 16:31
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Dearest Budgie @ 26 February 2016 at 14:39,
I am afraid I am forced to dismiss you - you are speaking in tongues. And I am in no way bright enough to transliterate and then translate your gibberish into a form useful to me. Perhaps if I had more experience with your culture? I don't know.
26 February 2016 at 16:36
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Dearest mikebravo @ 26 February 2016 at 15:17,

".....your mammoth ego but for the rest of us you come across as a pompous and charmless windbag....."

Don't forget gormless, and would it kill you to modify each of those descriptive adjectives, 'mammoth' 'pompous' and 'charmless' with my preferred additional adjectival modifier: f**king? The resultant alliterative volley when spoken is pleasing to the ear. Poetic even.

When we met a few days ago, I held out such promise for you and our future intercourse, but alas I fear you have proven to be a dullard. Please, please prove me wrong!
26 February 2016 at 16:51
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Dearest Anonymous @ 26 February 2016 at 16:01,
Dear oh dear
Dear oh dear oh dear.
It just goes to show the utter folly of teaching the cognitively impaired how to read and write.
You must have been, and continue to be, a terrible burden on your loved ones.

Have you ever seen a person die of consumption?
I thought not.
Well little man, little humourless dullard, I have! Too many to count! I've had babies die in my arms of simple ailments that would have be fixed in a flash with a quick trip to your local A & E on the High Street in Blighty. Don't you be lecturing me on what's funny and what's not.
26 February 2016 at 17:03
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Dearest everyone

I get the point of this post, the increase in TB cases is primarily caused by the filthy and swarthy immigrants y'all are forced to accept into your otherwise disease-free Sceptred Isle - on account of the Great Satan - EU.


Innit?
26 February 2016 at 17:12
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Blogger Thud said...
So you did get the point? well you did get there in the end I suppose, but please try to keep up with the rest of us in future.
26 February 2016 at 17:59

I'll do my best, Thud.
Thank you for your largess and patience.
 
Possessing the twin misfortunes of being Asian and female is often an insurmountable hindrance. Like
 Blanche DuBois, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers. It is quite simply horrid being part of The White Man's Burden you know.
26 February 2016 at 18:33
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Anonymous Ed P said...
Oh dear, another site infected with the "SR" troll, aka the PNG troll. "She" is actually a teenage boy, amused by his own wit. Grow up laddy!
26 February 2016 at 19:54

Dearest Ed P @ 26 February 2016 at 19:54

Ha!
You wish Ed P(1)!
In your wildest wet dreams!
I'm actually a pre-teen peri-pubescent boy named Tadzio.
But you knew that. Innit?
I'll be legal in a few more years Ed. Will you wait?
You're such a rascal.
But seriously Ed, your obsession with the film
 Death In Venice is sure to lead to your eventual undoing - you know, like that guitarist from The Who(2)?


1) Ed P? "P" for Paedophile?

2) This time, live at Leeds
26 February 2016 at 20:31
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Anonymous Anonymous said...
Sterculian Rhetoric said @ 17:03 

Dear oh dear oh dear.

It just goes to show the utter folly of teaching the cognitively impaired how to read and write.


Nasty piece of work, with language like that you'd be a good fit with supporters of euthanasia - Fabians, Nazis, etc.

Steve
26 February 2016 at 20:53

Dearest Anonymous @ 26 February 2016 at 20:53
aka, "Steve",

Errrmmmm...........
Ahhhhhh.........

By my phrase 'the cognitively impaired' I meant you, and you alone. I was making light of your apparent complete misreading of my satirical/sarcastic 'consumption' lampoon. I was lamenting what a waste it was teaching a humourless dolt like yourself how to read and write. Your apparent lack of reading comprehension is so severe that even the most obvious and hyperbolic of my 'funnies' escaped your notice.
As for the Nazis, they're far to 'accepting of diversity' for my tastes. I would have had those Übermensch against the wall first! I've no knowledge of the Fabians.
 

No comment on the rest of my word salad from 26 February 2016 at 17:03?
I thought not.
 
26 February 2016 at 21:5

Anonymous said...
I'd say woman under thirty. A preposterous self confidence only alumni of North East Ivy leaguer's or alien Oxbridge provenance - would possess maybe but of Caribbean extraction (and maybe lived over here a tad) She has never been near a working ward or a grindstone come to that but probably knows someone close who did.

Narcissistic, endless propensity for self love, self promotion - probably an only child and always with the Socialistas conscience, so twee but knows not of hard graft, sooo daddy's money will sort all those blues out.
Nothing better to do, idle hands and with a big gob, wind up and is her secret thrill.
27 February 2016 at 00:02

Dearest Anonymous @ 27 February 2016 at 00:02

Lord T'underin' Jaysus B'y, but are you off the mark.

I am Asian and born 1979 in the country formerly known as Burma while me Mam was peddling her ass "on the road to Mandalay" and me Pa was being anal raped by Aung San Suu Kyi and her kin. So as a S.L.O.R.C. enthusiast by default ("cause we hate Suu Kyi and her half-breed crotch fruit), it is unlikely I would have Socialist sympathies. I gots me no book learnin' but I wrangled me 8 letters after my name and 2 before it by fellating the right people in the frozen wastelands of Soviet Canuckistan(That's Canada for you retards) after I emigrated from Myanmar via Paris,France and Bogota, Colombia settling in Toronto, Canada.
No family money, but I did make a few bob peddling my ass and coca in Bogota for a few years. I still to this day curse my youth for being too young to have appreciated my meetings with Pablo Escobar.

Nu?
You were wrong on all counts except the narcissist bit. And you sir, are my able Enabler.
Oh and the self-love bit too, I've oft' been accused of engaging in acts preparatory to Onanism. You know, polishing the pearl, slapping the little man in the canoe? The Queen's is such a wonderfully idiomatic language for describing those sorts of activities - ain't it great?

You completely forgot arrogant too!
I am woefully arrogant - and for very good reason if I might add. You sir, conversely are a modest man, also for good reason.

Innit?
27 February 2016 at 01:10
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Anonymous Anonymous said...
Linking images - of someone who could or could not be something of anyone. Divination of the truth, is ever the task. 

Whereas, weaving words colour textured thick with pretentious, sardonic imagery. Words wrapped in with egotism and exhibitionism are by their very nature fantasists, and ship gladly with pedlars of deception.

Whatever you do, whosoever you are, what the fuck are you doing on here?

Surely you deserve a more appreciative audience?
 

Surely are a big heads, a mini monster doubtless and indeed big heads need devotees, you won't get that - hereabouts. All you'll receive in this place are disbelief and ladles full of derision.

innit.

Or, in plain verse, start talking sense and be welcomed Madame.

For, if all you say is true (above, ) then quite evidently it sits up on the page that, you have a tale to tell.
 
Maybe, you are a person of vast experience gained through a life of arduous and quite appalling adversity and I perceive have, underneath the facade - a rather a sharp and good brain betwixt your ears.

Thus, speak but cast aside the drollery and speak not
 in tongues.
27 February 2016 at 08:35

Dearest Anonymous @ 27 February 2016 at 08:35.

"......Whatever you do, whosoever you are, what the fuck are you doing on here?......"

Nu?
Profanity is acceptable?
In that case, your above biblical-esque lexical fodder?
Yawny yawny cunt cunt.
Innit?
27 February 2016 at 12:15
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