......................................I was once known as Aquarians Love To Fuck (ALT-F). I am now Vagina Dentata (VD)......................................


Thursday

Right of Repatriation

The BBC has informed me that upwards of 4 million Ukrainians have left the Motherland to escape the Russian invasion.

In 2021, before the war, Ukarinia was adjudged the 44th poorest country in Europe.

There are 44 countries in Europe.

How many of these 'upwards of 4 million Ukarnians' now find themselves in a country that has a significantly higher standard of living, and hence if they remained there, it would promise a better future life for their children?

All of them!

Any country is better than what they endured in Ukarkia before the war!

Better still?  How many of these 'upwards of 4 million Ukarpies' will return to The Motherland after the war on their own volition?  How many will have to be forced back to 44th worst country in Europe after the war?

Do the richest 43 countries in Europe want a new under-class?


UPDATE

It's mid-May and the BBC now informs me the diaspora has reached 6 million.  I reckon the educated and industrious of the Ukrazians will be welcomed by the West and allowed to stay in their new First World/European Union country.  The rest will be shipped back to Ukrzialandia in cattle cars to once again endure residence in a horribly corrupt and nasty misogynists' country now buoyed by massive postbellum reconstruction monies siphoned off by the new West-friendly gangsters who will replace the older East-friendly gangsters.

Ukarmina will once again be raped by Global interests funding a new upper-class of crooks and the usual vast array of down-trodden peasants scraping by - minus any industrious folks who were lucky enough to stay away for ever that is.

The result of the war?

Ukarzai will be split between the West and East - each power raping their respective sections and a general population thinned and culled of any folks sporting any intellect and/or energy.

 

Tuesday

Imitation is the Sincerest Form of Flattery

Que?

Russian War atrocities in Ukrania as Kievan Rus kills Kievan Rus with gleeful aplomb?

Other than causing Hitler to spin joyfully in his grave (1), this alleged revelation is nowt but yawny yawny cunt cunt.

Innit?

Wake me up when the Shchi quaffing Moskals do this:




Then, and only then, will these delightful little scallywags be as good as the Yankee at perpetrating war crimes with impunity.


1) єдиний добрий слов'ян - мертвий слов'ян 



Wednesday

Too bad Ukrainia is a fucking third world shithole with no money and arguably run by the most corrupt cream of cunts – and their next-of-kin -  to ooze forth from the foetid corpse of the USSR.

Otherwise.......

 


Just think what that thespian Voldomort Zelenskyy could buy if it were not for this unfortunate fact?

Remember this little fracas and little stunt?

 

Sure worked for the Emir and his fellow inbred uglies.  But then, these arseholes have money.  The Cunts who run Ukrainia would be better off under Putin.  The regular Khokhols would not.

Monday

Things Can Only Get Better. Innit?

The Tutor:  "If I was a Third World Country......"

Me:  "Pray tell.  What makes you think you're not?"

The Tutor:  "Very funny.  I mean I can't decide whether I would rather endure an invasion by the American Military under the ruse of 'bringing me Democracy' - like they did in Iraq and Afghanistan - or have the Russian Military invade me to piss off NATO."

Me:  "When the current brouhaha in that little corner of Rumsfeldian New Europe has run its course, a total tally of "all collateral damage" should inform your decision well enough.

The Tutor:  "I'm secretly hoping the Russians are the safer bet.  Just to annoy that not-at-all-biased "The News of the World" web site otherwise known as:  https://www.bbc.com/news/world"

The poor Khokhols can't get much worse.


Top 23 Poorest Countries in Rumsfeldian New Europe plus Russian Federation, Iraq and Afghanistan (by 2020 GDP per capita, US$)

  1. Ukraine - $3,727
  2. Azerbaijan - $4,214
  3. Armenia - $4.268
  4. Georgia - $4,279
  5. Kosovo (partially recognized) - $4,287
  6. Moldova - $4,551
  7. Albania - $5,215
  8. North Macedonia - $5,888
  9. Bosnia And Herzegovina - $6,032
  10. Belarus - $6,411
  11. Serbia - $7,666
  12. Montenegro - $7,686
  13. Bulgaria - $10,079
  14. Romania - $12,896
  15. Croatia - $14,134
  16. Poland - $15,721
  17. Hungary - $15,980
  18. Latvia - $17,726
  19. Slovak Republic - $19,266
  20. Lithuania - $20,233
  21. Czech Republic - $22,931
  22. Estonia - $23,027
  23. Slovenia - $25,517
  24. Iraq - $4,146
  25. Afghanistan - $517
  26. Russia Federation - $10,126

https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/poorest-countries-in-europe    https://data.worldbank.org/indicator/NY.GDP.PCAP.CD

P.S.  The 2020 GDP per Capita of Liechtenstein was $175,814

0808 808 0700

A very recent conversation betwixt yours truly and The Tutor in the latter's sepulchral clothes closet......

The Tutor:  "Nu?  What do you think?"

Me:  "Jodhpurs?  At your age?  Oh, my giddy aunt!"

The Tutor:  "Laugh all you will little missy, but I am investing in my future!"

Me:  "Que?"

The Tutor:  "Isn't it obvious?  I'm grooming myself for the UK geriatric sex trade.  In twenty years, my Civil Suit will prove quite lucrative!"

Me:  "Fair enough, but fuchsia jodhpurs?"

The Tutor:  "They're magenta!"


Friday

Vespertilio flumen Stygem transiit

Ain't no doubt about it

we were doubly blessed

We were barely 17

and we were barely dressed.


Thursday

Ghislaine Maxwell: Survivors speak of relief after guilty verdict

 The poor folks still can't decide how to correctly pronounce "Ghislaine".

Visits here on October 14, 2021

 


Palestine?

Saturday

A Sad Time

Our dear friend has just lost her dog.  We are all very sad, she being the saddest.  I suggested we, The Tutor and I, send her some flowers with the following quote attached:

Upon walking a moonlit field after a great battle, Napoleon Bonaparte, on finding a dog beside the body of his dead master licking his face and howling:

"This soldier, I realized, must have had friends at home and in his regiment; yet he lay there deserted by all except his loyal dog.  I had looked on, unmoved, at battles which decided the future of nations. Tearless, I had given orders which brought death to thousands.  Yet here I was stirred, profoundly stirred, stirred to tears.  And by what?   By the grief of one dog."

Perhaps it is best that our beloved pets pre-decease us for the alternative is just too grim to contemplate

I think it quite consoling.

Jamais Vu

Kabul, Afghanistan

August 15, 2021

After 20 years of war, American troops help in the evacuation of embassy personnel and other civilians.

Friday

A Victim of Misplaced Confidence

Me:  "I'm not revealing to you my address and telephone number!  You'll seek me out professing love and then either kill me in a fit of possessive rage over one of my silly platonic men-friends or alternatively slay me for my vast sums of money!"

The Tutor:  "I would not kill you for your alleged riches nor would I kill you while reacting in a puerile jealous pique.  I would never kill for such a vulgar concern as money - I have plenty of my own.  And I would never kill for love - I mean, really, how gauche and ill-bred is that?  I would never kill out of religious zeal or political intrigue either.  I kill as a matter of taste.  Simple as that.  I like pasta, I like the colour beige, I like the music of ABBA and I like to kill."

Me:  "Very well then: 613 - 555 - 1212.  And you better call me!"

The Tutor:  "Thank you.  You won't be sorry.  Do you happen to have any food allergies by any chance?  Or any common phobias that could be truly life-threatening if handled indelicately?"

Wednesday

For Whom The Jar Tolls

I know I can get this book in:

Arabic

Greek

Russian

Thai
 
But can I get it in English?
Maybe here or here?


The Tutor informs me that if he had had the opportunity to cohabit with this chick, he would NOT have kept her bare-foot and pregnant and he certainly would NOT have let her into the kitchen.
Jeez, anywhere BUT the kitchen!



Saturday

The Tutor's New Wheels


High resolution photographs

Ha!  He made his own panniers out of a pair of free promotional grocery bags he was given with the company name redacted with a Sharpie.  The white wire basket on the back is from an old chest freezer and the white box in it is a corrugated plastic produce box he picked from the garbage behind the local grocery store.

He pays $2,350.00 CDN for it and secures it with two locks he bought for $2.50 each from the Dollar Store!

He's such a cheap cunt!


I pulled a "Nigerian Chibok Schoolgirl" with his battery.  Let's see the dotard pedal 70 plus pounds of e-bike without power assist.

Wednesday

Ursaphobic Cunt


(For some reason, ya have to click the video twice to get it to play.  I don't know why, nor do I care to know why.  I suspect it's probably a Far-Right ruse to irk the right-thinking folks)

Without any provocation, vicious, and probably rabid, bear-baiting trained dogs and their crack-addled teenage whore of a handler attack two cute little bear cubs and their fluffy momma.

Is there no end to the wickedness of the average California teen?


She probably already owns two Assault Rifles and will no doubt vote for Trump in 2024.


I like her frock though.  It has that Grapes of Wrath dust-bowl-esque vibe.

Innit?
 

Thursday

Conquistadoras Cobardes


Fuck the spanish

Fuck the catholics

Fuck the spanish catholics.

Oh, and it was smallpox that conquered the New World, not the 'military prowess' of those iberian cunts!



And yes, the use of the feminine gender in the title is deliberate.

Monday

In other words......

It was sixty years ago today!

O those heady and halcyon days of an imagined misspent youth.  Wallowing as I did in the bliss of an era which tragically predated me by at least a brace of decades or so.  Nevertheless, a girl can dream.

Speaking of dreams, checkout my latest imagined beau.  No, not the hirsute Commie cunt, but that dreamboat to his left!

Swoon!

Fly me to the moon, Yuri



Tuesday

All The News That's Fit to Print - and then some!


If you scrutinize this recent photograph I retrieved from the Reuters News website, you'll see yours truly brandishing a sign which reads:


ဘာကြောင့်ဆိုင်းဘုတ်တွေကိုအင်္ဂလိပ်လိုရေးတာလဲ



P.S.  Daw Aung San Su Kyi is a cunt, and no mistake.



Thursday

Mixing Up and Switching Out


Efren Zimbalist, A loyal reader, writes:

Clever doesn't equal funny.  This post was like reading Ikea instructions.


".....Clever doesn't equal funny......."

Nor does it equal art - are you listening Damien Hirst?
Clever, however, can be quite funny if through its effective use cognitive dissonance is generated and/or the reader is possessed of the disparate knowledge necessary to make not-so-immediate connections, which are in turn used to reveal truths.  For instance, the English humour magazine Punch published a cartoon of the English general Sir Charles Napier, the conqueror of Scinde(present day Sindh Province, Pakistan), at the moment of his victory with the caption, Peccavi.  Very clever and very funny.  And as for sarcasm and humour, just because you do not perceive them does not mean they are not present.  We all have embarrassing cognitive impairments.  And for some of us, our impairment is not consciously perceived.

"......This post was like reading Ikea instructions......."

You actually read IKEA instructions?  The BESTÅ BOÅS TV Storage Unit has 27 pages of assembly instructions which do not contain a single word - in any language.  Nowt but line drawings of the various parts - many of which are missing - and Caucasoid anthropoids - always including a female to confirm how easy the assembly can be.  Never any words!
Unfortunately, I have never had the pleasure of purchasing IKEA product, but I do believe my awesome spatial skillz would serve me well.  I've witnessed how IKEA assembly can drive folks Knutsorp.
Yes. I know. I am clever, very clever, but not actually funny.
It's an albatross I must bear.


Um, how about view IKEA instructions?


I'll accept that.
Rats!
I was hoping one of you lot would respond to my obvious fuck-up of the quaint English idiom, "A cross I must bear".  I had a wonderfully clever riposte - in Rime even!

Ah! well a-day! what evil looks
Had I from old and young!
Instead of the cross, the albatross
About my neck was hung

God save thee, Efren Zimbalist
From the fiends, that plague thee thus
Why look'st thou foul ? - With my bat-cowl
I fucked the ALBATROSS.

Astronomically funny to those familiar with me, Coleridge and "The Rime".


Well thanks for the inclusion in the poem.  I'm okay with mixing up cliche's and metaphors so you switching out cross for albatross worked well for me.  I think you might dig William S Burroughs if you haven't already read anything by him that is.


"..........I'm okay with mixing up cliche's and metaphors so you switching out cross for albatross worked well for me........"

This is commendable.  I am not, however, "okay" with having to read phrasal verbs like, mixing up; switching out.
How's about addling or befuddling for the former and transposing or exchanging for the latter?  The Queen's is a beautiful thing.  It saddens me to witness native speakers really fuck it up.
William S Burroughs?
You mean the infamous William S. Edgar Rice Burroughs, right?  The author of "Tarzan's Naked Lunch"?
And I quote:

"Jane?  Although I am an extreme example of the archetypal feral child, noble savage and white messiah figure - largely unburdened with character flaws or faults - Tarzan still want more Mugwump jism."


Something like that.


I don't think you're trying.  Is it because I'm Asian and female?  If so, I'll understand.
See the side bar to the right.  I's the seedy, sordid and vexatiously untoward demimondaine in red.  I am reasonably certain you are quite capable of the calibre of coruscating invective that I have grown to cherish and love in my intercourse with The Caucasoid.  Must I beg?

The Isle of Cunt


Okay, now listen!
It's bad enough this blog attracts visitors from Kenya, Cyprus and the USA, but I've just been informed by The Tutor there's been a Manxman skulking about.
A fucking Manxman!

Twice!

Take that testicular agenetic Triskelion and that inane motto of yours, Quocunque Jeceris Stabit, and fuck off!  And take those caudal agenetic cats and those freakish corniculate polygenetic Loaghtan sheep with you too!
They're as fuct as those tree-climbing goats they have in Morocco!



UPDATE
And there have been fuckers from Gibraltar and the United Arab Emirates here of late too!  I beseech you in the bowels of the divinity of your choice to leave me be. 

Friday

Blind Turk Covers Finnish Polka


Docha just wanna Dance?



 P.S.  Cats should not react to Finnish Polkas, it's just unseemly.