To the enuretics at CUNTS CORNER!
NOTA BENE
If you, dear reader, are the resident Alpha at CUNTS CORNER, please to scroll to the ultimate paragraph. The dross that lay between this and that contains no revelations not already known to you.
I was told that if I was to alight at CUNTS CORNER, I'd find a cream of exquisite cunts worthy of my profound and literate wit and raillery. Instead, what do I find? I find a shower of toadyingly sycophantic, probably sexagenarian, slack-scrotumed, Caucasoid milksops with nary a cogent neuro-synaptic transmission between them - fucking acetylcholine-dodging, feculent and feckless homunculi!(1)
To be fair though, perhaps the many sparks of piquant that may have been birthed in these alleged feeble minds were unable to transit the Event Horizon (a barrier begat by the gravitational pull of their super-massive, yet extremely fragile, egos) to fly free and entertain me! And let's be honest, these egos, I might add, have no legitimacy for existence in the first place. I have witnessed no intellect which could be even remotely distinguished from that which I would normally find in a troop of peri-pubescent Boy Scouts - and 'Special Needs' Boy Scouts at that!(2) Nowt but Lilliputian intellect and Brobdingnagian egos to be found here!(3)
Where were the bon mots? The wit? Scintillating palaver?
Well fuck me from behind with the combined pee pees; in parallel, not series, of the lot of them - the badinage was fucking bad! Where were the confident and cocksure Western white boys I was promised would be here?
I hesitantly arrived at CUNTS CORNER the other day, all dewy-eyed and bushy-tailed, innocent as shite, and inadvertently posted a 'Cunt Nomination' in error. An error to which I admitted and for which I subsequently apologised.
All I was trying to do was create a Ray Caesar, Bat Girl avatar for myself. And what was the result of my neophytic transgression? I was immediately set upon by a legion of liquored-up Beta and Gamma males, and, it would seem, a vermiform Delta Minus (that 777 cunt). Falling, as they were, all over themselves in a rush to pixellate very unfriendly dullardry to, and at, me. Frankly, I was terribly hurt. AND then when I steel myself; gird my ever so inviting loins and foster the courage to defend myself with brilliant coruscating invective and spumescent vitriol - and in the most beauteous of prolix circumlocutious prose imaginable - the little fuckers scurry about like roosters-come-capons declaiming how horrid and beastly I am, and have been, to them.
Once more unto the breach, dear VD, once more;
Or close the wall up with our Girlish dead!
In peace, there’s nothing so becomes a girl,
As modest stillness and humility:
But when the blast of war blows in our ears,
Then imitate the action of the tigress;
Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood.
And that fender777 git, what a piece of shite he is, ventures out from the aegis that is the Alpha's codpiece - a very large and no doubt girthy one I should imagine......sigh - to throw a lexical spit-ball at me now and then when he thinks the coast is clear and he is safe to do so. That little 777 twerp threatens that I should enjoy my short-lived unfettered freedom to pixellate now 'cause when his mom - the person with whom he lives and by whom he is dressed - comes home, I'm gonna get it! I'll be deleted and banned. What a fucking cuntbutler. Nay, a fecking piscine staccato cuntribbit. Period. Full stop. End of. Lord t'underin' jaysus b'y, but flappy gees like that really get on my very shapely and perky teats!(4) This merkin operates under the assumption that a deletion and banning from CUNTS CORNER is some sort of penultimate punishment - the ultimate being just the opposite; being left to freely contribute to this cloaca. Nyuck, nyuck, the fuck, nyuck. Like as if my entire self-worth is predicated upon my ability to gain acceptance into this alliterative corpulent Caucasoid cunt clique. I'll have you know my self-loathing does not require your approbation. In fact, unless I perceive in short order, a measure - even a modicum would suffice - of the vile miasma of Caucasoid intellect I was promised, I'll be off on my own volition like a whippet after a hare. I will not deign to waste my wit(5) on Thalidomide stump-sucking cretins.
How can the resident Alpha tolerate this sorry state? The commentators here are a wank-circle populated with ignominious imbeciles. Low-status Caucasoid males who every now and then muster the courage to charge out and strike at me. All in valiant attempts to supposedly defend the Alpha. And in doing so, they fall prey, one by one, to my weaponry and then run back to shelter as their mother's little helper.(6) The funny thing is, the Alpha is in no danger. No one is in any danger, actually.(7) All y'all need to do is cut the Gordion Knot that binds the jet-engine of your intellect to the ox-cart of your ego and let your genius race off unencumbered.
Do it. You'll thank me.
(1) I suspect I am going to have to re-evaluate the validity and efficaciousness of my sources.
(2) And believe you, me, I've fucked and fellated my way through many a Boy Scout troop. I know about which I speak.
(3) And to further this Swiftian metaphor, but as a simile now, I reckon the Alpha is hung like a Houyhnhnms. Well fuck me from behind with a Modest Proposal, I's quite proud of that one. Ha! Clever, doncha think?
(4) And the Girls are not water-balloon blimps either, they're quite pleasing to the eye and hand - car seat texture. Size?
Meh! As the late Frank Zappa would say, 'Anything more than a mouthful is a waste.' Innit?
(5) I admit, I am clever, very clever, but not actually funny. Alas it is an albatross I have long born. I've lived with this shame for near-on 36 years now. I am not bitter. Now in the unlikely event a particularly bright fucker has bothered to read this crap and has arrived at this note, I suspect she would have noticed I balderised that idiom; a cross I have long born. To her I would riposte,
Oh well a'day what evil looks
Had I from old and young.
Instead of the cross, the albatross,
About my neck was hung.'
(6) Yes, I know, I've mis-paraphrased the Stones tune. Fuck off! Sue me!
(7) Except that 777 eromenos. I mean to capon-ise that little worm - if I haven't already done so. I mean to immasculate him! Ha! How's that for a neologism - a conflation of the words immaculate and emasculate As I'm sure you're not aware, with this malapropism I imply, and from which smart folk will correctly infer, that being separated, either physically or figuratively, from one's pee pee is the decidedly pure state of existence for which one should strive and indeed yearn to embrace.
I feel a little bit of Nilsson Schmilsson is in order:
You're breaking my heart
You're tearing it apart
So fuck you!
I can only hope that the Alpha is astute enough to realize that the wordsmithy above was wrought and keened with my tongue, (or a cock, I can no longer differentiate between the two for some inexplicable reason), placed firmly in my delicate, Asian cheek. I mean no Lese-majeste, and with all due contriteness, present in the lordotic position to accommodate your droit de seigneur. I await your favours with anticipatory glee and damp knickers.
UPDATE
Jaysus fucking christ!
The Alpha at CUNTS CORNER is just as thick as his minions! He keeps 'banning' me and I just keep re-registering with a different name and email account. Fuck! What a dullard! Then again, perhaps the manly man values his circle of idiots and their dullardry over my wonderful palaver - quantity over quality as it were. It appears he can't have both - not because of me, but because of them - they's very sensitive it seems.
Fair enough I figger.
UPDATE II
Okay, he's now disabled my Google Chrome vector to his awesome site. I went in using Internet Explorer instead - what a maroon! I'm bored now though. I can't have the imbecile hovering about his Internet Access machine for the next 8 hours waiting to delete me when I appear - that's just cruel. Innit? I hope my readers will understand if I leave the retard alone now. It's like beating up on a cripple. It's just not nice to do.
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